Okay, so there's been a lack of action in the blog department. But there's not much of interest going on. Mainly studying and freaking over the studying and the fact that Professor anti-mermaid-man is out to get me.

I thought I fell in love with Papiano's pizza...then their electricity failed before they could make my pizza...forcing me to order from Cottage Inn. Blah! Papiano and I are now reassessing the relationship. More or less, I've realized there's no other pizza company for me.

Before the power outage issue, I was amused by the guy that took my order. He seemed to think everything was "cool." And the idea of tomato on top of pizza seemed new and different to him. Special boy. *Pats the clearly high, college employee on the head.* My love for him will end if I found out he's the one that caused the power outage...how dare the high college employee deny me of my pizza!

In other news, I love Spike. When Angel is over, he can come live in my dorm room. I invite him. (I've been avoiding work and watching Buffy episodes)

Amazon is amazing. I need to return an DVD that I've already opened...Technically against their policy, but it's a mistake of the manufacturer...not only did they respond to my e-mail in a matter of hours on a Sunday, they already sent a replacement DVD...of course...If I don't send my other copy back within a month, they charge me...but still they're super-duper cool. If only they could give me Papiano's pizza, I'd marry them in a flash. Mrs. Michele Amazon...I suppose I could deal with that. I'd still prefer Mrs. Michele Papiano.

It's oh so pretty outside.

So, I think I failed a pop quiz in my Spanish class yesterday. I'm having issues with that class. I feel better about my other quiz, though.

I don't feel prepared for the mini-test of doom. Not that I did last time either.

When my parents dropped me off Sunday we ran into my second or third (whatever) cousin Becky. She's kinda crazy. My parents made a few jokes after she left, which isn't right of fair. They only see her 1-2 times a year. I actually have to put up with her coming to my door on an almost daily basis. She makes me uncomfortable...but you don't see me making with the jokes. Possibly the eye-rolling, and the lame excuses to get away from her...but no joking. At least she won't be living in McDonel next year.

I'm also feeling very upset with a friend. I don't know how to approach her about it as people who have done so in the past immediately change from being a friend to a malicious, murderous, villain in her eyes. And that's not me. But, I feel the need to say something, as I don't want to continue a friendship where I am continually angry with this person.

Still no reply from Arch. I checked, my e-mail asking for an appointment was sent.

I'm going to stop avoiding and study now. Stupid mini-test of doom. Stupid 300 pages of reading that I won't get done.

Today: Paper due. Quiz.

Tomorrow: 2nd mini-test of doom. (I should probably start preparing for that somehow) 280 pages of reading due in the same class...done.
Also, have class protest at administration building.

Thursday: 300 more pages of reading due. (I don't think I'll make it, as I don't have time to read 100 pages each night)

Progress in story: None.
Response of evil teacher about story: None.

Too much work. Way too much work.

Not much going on in the way of my life.

There's been constant work...Wednesday I actually went about 11 hours without eating. Class after work after meetings. There was one cup of coffee in there. I never want to do that again.

Oh, I saw Mark (the guy that kinda hit on me) He was in the peace corps. Very cool but it means he's SUPER old! If he was a Christian and not old, I'd have a grade A+ love interest.

I'm not a fan of my new sweetmate. Jas and I are fairly certain she's cleaning dishes in the shower...so the bathroom smells like pickles. I'm not enjoying it.

I still haven't been able to get Arch's opinions on my first 3 chapters. When I go, that will be my scariest meeting ever.

Way too much work. Parents are MIA. Story reviews from friends aren't as good as I would like.

So, I had an awesome time at House Church last night. I almost didn't go, but one of the girls called me and I took it as a sign from God. I mixed it up and went to a new group. I think I'm going to keep going to their group, fewer people, far less intimidating.
After the actual dinner and discussion we played Mafia. Lot's of fun. I was the cop/the first to die. But hey, right before I died I guessed the killer correctly...so that was good...kinda.

So, Rose, the kinda-atheist who went to church with me, wants to go again. Her motivation is mainly a hot guy...but maybe God will work with her. I told her I wanted our whole group of friends to go with us. She implied she wanted to keep this a her and me thing...maybe God will also change that desire with time.
In a sort of related topic, she is writing a show, I said I would like to write it with her. It involves the gay life style and so she was really surprised that I'd be willing to get involved with that. Her comment has been raising question marks in my head. Should I, as a Christian, get involved? Chances are nothing will ever become of her show, so I won't need to worry...but still, it got me thinking.

This morning was not so great. I went to see my Spanish teacher. Not the most encouraging guy. More or less, I'm preparing to kiss my GPA good-bye. I was so upset, I called my mom to vent.
Maybe God will give me the strength and courage to go down with style. I'm thinking: Interpretive dance during my poetry presentation and no actually speaking Spanish...with enough coffee in my system, I could pull it off.

I need to go running to blow off some steam. Here's hoping I can be disciplined enough to get some writing done tonight.

It's been an eventful weekend.

I spent part of yesterday night reading pregnancy test instructions to a friend. She told me about her fear 5 minutes before the test. I went into responsible-supportive-friend mode. It turned out to be negative. I was the one that looked at the test. Afterwards, my brain actually began to process the situation. It was hard to do anything for the rest of the night.

pregnancy and kids is a big question mark for me, but more recently I've been beginning to appreciate the beauty of it...as well as the sci-fi-there's something inside me growing-fear. In the right time, with a husband, it would be cool to completely love someone you'd never seen and is the size of a fist...who could hear everything you said. Interesting.
My friend kept saying she couldn't have a kid. She had a life planned. If she had a kid, she'd still have a life. Just the unplanned kind. I think things could still have been good. But, I think she was thinking more along the lines of considering abortion...that totally would have tested our friendship.

Valentines was okay. I got another card from my parents. Yeah $20!
Luckily, Alan didn't try anything. He did end up touching my teeth though. I threatened to sing "The Song that Never Ends" he moved to cover my mouth with his hand. What can I say? It was dark in the car and I was smiling. Sigh. No idea how to approach the situation.
Plus, I broke my promise to never let him drive me anywhere again, ever! I forgot. Oops.

Also, I got the biggest shock ever last night when my friend (and future roommate) Rose offered to go to church with me. Her motivation was mainly to avoid being alone on Valentines, but still. I was so scared...she is very far from Christianity spiritually. She seemed to have an okay time. She talked about coming next week...but her motivation seems to be the hot guy that sat behind us...but hey, if she here's the message, God can still work with her heart. We'll see if she goes again.
There was one moment, when Noel (the pastor) was talking about evangelizing, and Rose leaned over to talk to me. I was prepared to talk about her being there, but she asked if it would be okay to run to the bathroom. Moment of paralyzing fear for nothing.

I finished A Room with a View. I still have to edit a stupid outline thingy we have to do. I'm kinda mad about that...irritating outlines should not be done with honors classes in college. I'd prefer professors to just trust me to get it...plus now I need to read near my computer. Hassle.

So the story is now in SUPER-SUCKY territory. It's on to the second page now. But considering I want to give Arch two edited chapter by Friday, I have a lot to go. I am SO not certain of the master/servant relationship. Research isn't proving beneficial. Online, I keep getting syllabuses for Scottish history classes that talk about my issues of concern. Of course the syllabus doesn't give any valuable information. All I can do is wish I attended a different university and be enrolled in that class...or I can hope that the professors write books.
I totally need to work on the story tomorrow...and make it not so sucky. I'm just not getting a quality writing vibe. A Room with a View isn't helping either. So I didn't enjoy it so much, but it was clever...and all I can think is "why can't I write that way? With a crafty narrator and what not."

Quiz Monday. I totally need to study for that too. I need to kick that quiz's butt. I'm worried about my grades in my Spanish classes.

It's too early. I don't have to be up now. But I couldn't sleep. I guess I shouldn't have had coffee so late last night.

Sigh. So I have a page of my story done. It sucks. It feels more like fanfiction than an actual novel. I should probably cut back on the fanfic and up my dosage of reading...it might help. I think I just need to push ahead...chant that in the end, I'm not writing this for professor, evil, intimidating, anti-Christian, fiction and mermaid-hating Arch. This is for the kiddies.

I'm stressing about Spanish. I feel like an idiot in that class...and so far, I haven't been pulling off 4.0 work. I need to write a paper for that class this weekend. I have yet to actually understand what the theme of the assignment is. I think next week I might go and talk to the teacher. However, I have figured out that avoiding eye contact is the key to getting him to not call on me.

I have an irrational fear that Alan may try to do something on Valentines Day. Probably not...but he is a trickster...which is one reason why I could never be in a relationship with him. If I'm not in the right mood...I would be forever mad at his antics. Oh, did I mention he, yet again, randomly called on Monday night? Luckily I was in the law library working. I used that fact as my excuse to not pick up. After all, I do glare and mumble at those people who always pick up cell phones and ruin the silence. I wouldn't want to be a hypocrite.

As for Valentines, Rose and I plan to watch movies. A Walk to Remember is scheduled, mainly because the girl dies at the end. It should be fun.

Some of my non-Christian friends are fighting...I have no idea what to do.

Copied from my Spanish notebook. Comments made before class~

Ahhhhh! I have boy issues. This guy, who I've never met, but recognize from my past involvement with hall government, randomly asked me about the weather in the caf. Me being me, I start to answer that I haven't been out yet, mid-sentence I say that it's bearable because I realized I had been outside to go to the gym. I started to think that this guy (Mark, a grad student-previous knowledge from hall government) has me mistaken for someone else. He commented on the fact that I mixed 4 juice drinks together and I said "Ya gotta mix it up" and we went our separate ways with a "see ya" on his part.
I sit. Eat. Freak out that I'm going to be late for class and prepare to leave. Who should approach, but Mark (still without a formal introduction). He sits at the table next to mine with an orange and uses the excuse that he wanted to get away from the uber-loud TV on the other side of the caf. (I'm no idiot, it's an excuse...but a good one. All the boys ever put on is ESPN *Rolls eyes*) He realized I was leaving, said "have a good morning."
Since I'm twitchy when it comes to boys, I responded with "you to-except have a great whole day." I'm a dork. Very left of witty.
We briefly discussed spanish (I don't know how we got to that) I leave with a comment about how it's cool to have a Spanish class because the teachers randomly leave for Spain for a week leaving you free of class.
No names exchanged. I left feeling more twitchy than usual.
I don't know what to do in this kind of situation...maybe we'll never have a run in again.
I should go, as one of my former-crushes just gave me a weird look for writing all of this in the margin of my notebook.
~End Transcript.

I feel better about the situation now that it's several hours away. Maybe he wasn't interested in me. Maybe I'm a crazy dork.

I just came from giving blood. The woman missed the vain. Grand Valley is much nicer than Red Cross.

As usual, there's too much work and too little time. I really need to start my story.

Last night I was a very good little student. Let's see if I can keep it up today.

Went running. It was really hard! Probably because I haven't gone since last Friday. Either way, I made my goal. 3 miles, 360 calories in about 31 minutes. Yeah team.

Paper due today. I better double check that I already put it in my backpack.

I had a talk over Christianity with Britt. Afterwards, I immediately stressed over everything that I said. She has an interest in Christianity...I don't want to scare her away. Here's hoping I follow through on what God wants me to do there.

I'm worried that people can't see God in me. Let's face it, I don't have inner-peace. I'm the first person to freak out over a test, paper, or schedule change. I think I'm going to have to work on reminding myself that the trivial stuff doesn't matter...and I'll pray for God to do a bit of His mojo on my heart and Britt's too.

I'm supposed to get by evil mini-test back today. I'm prepared to encourage myself and Britt after I get the depressing news back.

I'm back!

Ignite was really great. Some things that I took away with me include the fact that as a Christian, I am one of the daughters of the King of kings. That's a little tidbit to remind any girl of her self worth and to boost her self-esteem. I think I'm going to write it on my hand for Spanish class.

There was also a sermon on how God is wild. If you put him in a box and say He only works in such-and-such a way, then that's all you'll see. We need to open our eyes.

There was LOTS more...I already ordered all of the CDs.

Despite how good this weekend was for spiritual growth, it was very hard on my wallet and school work. I know that God will get me through it all though...there'll just be a lot of boring reading for tonight.

Off to work.

So, the test went bad. I'm blocking out the memory as I type.

Love Actually DVD comes out April 27th. (Yeah! Something to look forward to during exams)

So, I have a lot of work to do. I have no idea how any of it will get done with Ignite...but I'm doing a good thing. It'll work out somehow. Kinda like how the money worked out...I can now pay for my hotel room with the forgotten Europe money.

This morning I was feeling very pissy at my roomie. It actually stems from last night. She wants another bunny...apparently this one is smaller and won't fling poop. I still think it should have to be on her side of the room. I said I'd have to think about it.

Then, this morning, I'm in the bathroom brushing my teeth. I look down at our sink. It's so disgusting I don't want to lean over to spit my toothpaste in it. By agreement, cleaning that part of the bathroom is Jas's responsibility...she hasn't done it in a month. Gross. The bathroom incident is a trigger. It all hits me again...my mental rambling of last semester in which I kept repeating "If I was her mother, I'd say the bunny has to go. She's not responsible enough for this."

So, when it comes up again, it looks like I'm going to be saying a big fat negative on the bunny front.

I cleaned the sink. I don't think she noticed. Sigh.

Yearntown was very amusing. However I know have a mountain of work to do. Wah! I'm off to avoid it for the rest of the night.

Now both of my Spanish teachers are against me. When I say "Ni idea" I mean it.

So, my ambition of writing 1-2 chapters fell short. 3 paragraphs. They suck. I had been hoping to fake the research...put in some random facts here and there...it's not going to happen. Who knows how to gut a fish? Would a servant still gut one on a Sunday morning in Scotland in 1800? Did people have formal meals before attending church? Is it reasonable for said servant to be up and already gutting at dawn.
Sigh. I checked out 7 books. So if finding them and carrying them across campus means I've done work, then I'm done for awhile.

Still haven't studied for mini-test-of-doom.

Between last night and this morning I've beaten back my slacking tendencies a little. The big question is whether I can keep it up through tonight. Will I cave and watch TV, read for fun, listen to music, or run screaming into the woods?

I have yet to study for the mini-test-of-doom and I want to start my book this afternoon. (It feels odd writing that-I'm going to write a book. I'm writing a novel. *shiver*). It's going to be a library afternoon. Here's hoping I can get through evil Spanish classes 1 and 2 to make it to the library and the coffee it holds. (It also contains books...I'll be using those too...but they're not as exciting as the coffee)

Good work out this morning. I made my mini-goal that I created half way through the sweating, panting, and running. 3 miles and 350 calories in 32 minutes and no falling on my face after getting off the treadmill. (Go me) (Some of it was walking, some running, and a some was at an elevation of 1.5...whatever that means)

Does anybody know the weather conditions of Scotland in 1800? (I'm off to find out)

Things have gone from bad to worse. I know have a "mini"-exam on Thursday. Going to fail.

If I don't sleep for the next couple of days, I still won't get everything done. I wish Ignite was another weekend...I wish Urinetown was another week. Why couldn't I have been on top of things and already written my book or at least researched it. I wish I was a famous author so I could have a research wench. So, between reading for classes, and studying for the "mini"-exam-of-death...I need to go to the library and research. Tomorrow is going to be fun.

But at least I got a good workout this morning.

Chad from my ENG 310 B class is now dubbed "Latin Dude."

I wish my life was a Jane Austen novel.

My slacking tendencies are getting worse and worse. I need to get out of this funk and it needs to be this week.

Yesterday, I found myself yet again singled out by a Spanish teacher. Why can't they leave me alone?

There is way too much work to do. I haven't even started studying for my quiz tomorrow. I have had 0 fun this weekend.

Yesterday my mom found $90 in the backpack I took to Europe several summers ago. That was a very cool surprise. Her repetition of "Finders keepers, losers weepers" did get old. Now I'll have money to bring to Ignite next weekend. Yeah! No starving!