mY LifE iN iRoNY

"How can you expect the birds to sing when their groves are cut down?" ~Thoreau

Sunday, February 26, 2006

A Story

Once upon a time, the Barnes and Noble in Squirrel Hill had 6 managers: One strict store manager, two more strict managers (one male, one female) and two fun managers (one is cute manager who trained me on the bookside) and a cool cafe manager.

All seemed well. The narrator of this story was not aware of any drama.

Then, about a week ago, one of the fun managers was fired (not the cute one). The day this narrator learned this sad fact, she decided to go out with some of her co-workers for the first time. Who should they run into at the bar across from work? Former fun manager and co-worker on a date. Narrator begins to see things clearly.

Narrator works Thursday. Things seem relatively normal. She gets reprimanded by strict store manager for reading in the back room (In narrator's defense, everything was stocked. There were no customers. She'd even dusted the cafe. Alas, her down fall was when she told strict store manager about her dusting efforts only to have said store manager find a base of a magazine stand that was a little dusty)

Narrator enjoys one day of freedom, assuming all is as it should be at work.

Narrator goes into work on Saturday to find that the strict male manager and cute fun manager are both gone. (NOOOOOOOO! She wants her cute fun manager back!!!!!!! *cries, wails, and throws things against the wall*) Apparently cute fun manager quit because he felt strict male manager was evil and tormenting him. Narrator is still unaware of the specifics surrounding strict male manager's departure. One would assume it has something to do with his tormenting tendencies.

But, yeah, drama. It's Survivor Barnes and Noble. The store is left with two strict managers and a cool cafe manager. A store that needs to have a manager present at least 16 hours/day can't function under those conditions. There is talk of guest managers coming in to help.

Narrator is off to go prepare for work and hopes she will not be kicked to the curb for having supported a losing manager in Survivor Barnes and Noble.

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Entry Visa

Excuse the lack of writing (and calling, for those of you who have tried to talk to me). I've been both busy and lazy. And working a lot (yet, I'm still broke).

Any-hoo, I just got my passport back in the mail. It has a nice entry visa for India in it. They're going to let me in their country! Yay!

Speaking of India, did you know they had an outbreak of a pneumonic plague in 1994?

They'll let me in their country, but I'm a little scared to go. At least step one is done. My next goal is to get all my shots over spring break. Do I know how to have a god time or what?

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

*Twitch Twitch* Is It Spring Break Yet?

Bah humbug to homework!

Bah humbug to my financial situation!

Bah humbug to this "holiday"!

And now, a sampling of the craziness that is my job:

A bookseller enters the cafe. "Line one is for you guys."

I pick up the phone, give the proper greeting.

"Hi, this is John XXXXX. I'm in there all the time."

"Umm, okay." I had no idea who I was talking to.

"Brown hair, glasses."

Beer goggles. So named for his atrociously huge glasses. Alas, I had nothing to do with his naming. I would have chosen something along the lines of Crazy Man or One-Who-Wastes-Your-Time-By-Telling-Bad-Non-Funny-Jokes-Then-Asks-If-You-Know-What-Comedian-Said-That-Joke-In-the-1970s. "Oh, right. What can I do for you?"

"Is my friend there?"

I say nothing, wondering who could possibly be this man's friend.

"Tony? The Serbian guy."

"Oh, right. He was in earlier, but he's gone now."

"Thanks! See you later."

I felt so privileged to have been the one to take that call. Now, if ever asked, I can contribute to the lore told to new hires about the craziness of the cafe customers.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Michele Needs

A paper that is due tomorrow is giving me issues. It kind of, sort of, almost meets the professor's requirements. And e-mailing her proved that "doing my own thing" is not an option. But I can't think of how to get it up to her standards...so I might just call it good.

In other procrastinating news, Google says:

Michele needs us all to help her.
Michele needs to be nicer.
Michele needs to be healed desperately!!!!!
Michele needs to see it big to know.
Michele needs to learn to be more careful with her Voodoo. (???????)
Michele needs a rubber very quickly - it's important (ha!)
Michele needs to get some much deserved sleep and rest.
Michele needs to write another book SOON.

I like the last two.

Off to do enough work to give me an excuse to slack, slack, slack.

I return to the cafe bright and early tomorrow.

Honk If You Don't Want to Go to Sleep

The honking continued well past 1 AM. I think someone must have put out a sign that said something to the effect of "honk if you love the Steelers!"

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Based on the Evidence, I Conclude...

There is shouting in the streets and car horns honking. I can hear fireworks going off in the distance.

It would seem the Steelers won.

Off to watch Galaxy Quest and clip my toe nails.

Question

Is tonight the Super Bowl? Cause I'm hearing a lot of cheering throughout my apartment building.

And I had thought my days of hearing sports addicts screaming throughout buildings had ended when I left MSU.

On the plus side, the Pittsburgh Natural History Museum's shop was selling everything at 10% off because the Steelers are playing. Go team! Take that ball strong to the hole! *rolls eyes*