Seeking Advice and Other News from My Life
Last night, I was worried about a certain social event that I must attend tonight. I haven't seen/spoken to the people in over a year. I had my reasons. So, I've been searching my brain on how to behave like a nice-normal-sane-stable-human-person/good-Christian.
Firstly, I looked in my Bible for advice on how I should behave. I was reading Romans and was on Chapter 13. It wasn't overly comforting since it's all about the government. Even the reiteration of "Love your neighbor as yourself" in verse 9 wasn't overly comforting for my screwy head.
After setting aside my Bible, I decided to try to relax/laugh with the newest Christopher Moore book: The Stupidest Angel.
And wow! Does God work in mysterious ways, because the first thing I read was uber-relevant to my situation. It was the first paragraph of chapter 8:
"Christmas Amnesty. You can fall out of contact with a friend, fail to return calls, ignore e-mails, avoid eye contact at the Thrifty-Mart, forget birthdays, anniversaries and reunions, and if you show up at their house during the holidays (with a gift) they are socially bound to forgive you-act like nothing happened. Decorum dictates that the friendship move forward from that point, without guilt or recrimination...(Look, Christmas Amnesty is a wonderful thing, but it's not a dimensional shift. The laws of time and space continue to apply, even if you have been avoiding your friends. But don't try using the expansion of the universe as an excuse-like you kept meaning to stop by, but their house kept getting farther away. That crap won't wash. Just say "Sorry I haven't called. Merry Christmas." Then show the present. Christmas Amnesty protocol dictates that your friend say, "That's okay," and let you in without further comment. This is the way it has always been done.)"
~Christopher Moore (pp. 108-109)
Wowsers. Let's analyze this with my life.
-I fell out of contact. CHECK.
-I failed to return calls. CHECK.
-I did NOT ignore e-mails (although I wish I did-The first e-mail I responded to made some one mad...so in the second one I put smiley faces...but they still haven't received that e-mail)But I did ignore text messages. That should count. PARTIAL CHECK.
-I did NOT avoid eye contact. (Mainly because I haven't been close enough to any of them to do so)
-I did forget birthdays. CHECK.
So that gives me 3.5/5. I'm calling a pretty good match.
The only problem with all of this is that I'm not bringing a gift. I'll be bringing food. I might have to spring for a nice pie. Surely good food should have an equivalent effect as a present. But in the book, even having a gift didn't help the main character. But he was dealing with a socially inept middle-aged man. I'm dealing with twenty-something girls. The odds must be in my favor. *Everybody smile and nod at the crazy person-ie me*
Turning to another aspect of life, all my grades are in. Kind of upsetting. I have had to wave bye-bye to my GPA. But, I don't think all my slacking is really to blame. The only class in which "more effort" could have helped me was Spanish. But I actually did put forth quite a bit of effort. *shrugs* Here's hoping I can get the ol' GPA back up a little next semester.
Well, apparently my father is having minor surgery right now, so I'm going to go and read by the window. On the plus side, at least my parents mentioned having the surgery this time. In the past, my father has tried to keep it a secret. *rolls eyes at the crazy man, whose genes I inherited*
Firstly, I looked in my Bible for advice on how I should behave. I was reading Romans and was on Chapter 13. It wasn't overly comforting since it's all about the government. Even the reiteration of "Love your neighbor as yourself" in verse 9 wasn't overly comforting for my screwy head.
After setting aside my Bible, I decided to try to relax/laugh with the newest Christopher Moore book: The Stupidest Angel.
And wow! Does God work in mysterious ways, because the first thing I read was uber-relevant to my situation. It was the first paragraph of chapter 8:
"Christmas Amnesty. You can fall out of contact with a friend, fail to return calls, ignore e-mails, avoid eye contact at the Thrifty-Mart, forget birthdays, anniversaries and reunions, and if you show up at their house during the holidays (with a gift) they are socially bound to forgive you-act like nothing happened. Decorum dictates that the friendship move forward from that point, without guilt or recrimination...(Look, Christmas Amnesty is a wonderful thing, but it's not a dimensional shift. The laws of time and space continue to apply, even if you have been avoiding your friends. But don't try using the expansion of the universe as an excuse-like you kept meaning to stop by, but their house kept getting farther away. That crap won't wash. Just say "Sorry I haven't called. Merry Christmas." Then show the present. Christmas Amnesty protocol dictates that your friend say, "That's okay," and let you in without further comment. This is the way it has always been done.)"
~Christopher Moore (pp. 108-109)
Wowsers. Let's analyze this with my life.
-I fell out of contact. CHECK.
-I failed to return calls. CHECK.
-I did NOT ignore e-mails (although I wish I did-The first e-mail I responded to made some one mad...so in the second one I put smiley faces...but they still haven't received that e-mail)But I did ignore text messages. That should count. PARTIAL CHECK.
-I did NOT avoid eye contact. (Mainly because I haven't been close enough to any of them to do so)
-I did forget birthdays. CHECK.
So that gives me 3.5/5. I'm calling a pretty good match.
The only problem with all of this is that I'm not bringing a gift. I'll be bringing food. I might have to spring for a nice pie. Surely good food should have an equivalent effect as a present. But in the book, even having a gift didn't help the main character. But he was dealing with a socially inept middle-aged man. I'm dealing with twenty-something girls. The odds must be in my favor. *Everybody smile and nod at the crazy person-ie me*
Turning to another aspect of life, all my grades are in. Kind of upsetting. I have had to wave bye-bye to my GPA. But, I don't think all my slacking is really to blame. The only class in which "more effort" could have helped me was Spanish. But I actually did put forth quite a bit of effort. *shrugs* Here's hoping I can get the ol' GPA back up a little next semester.
Well, apparently my father is having minor surgery right now, so I'm going to go and read by the window. On the plus side, at least my parents mentioned having the surgery this time. In the past, my father has tried to keep it a secret. *rolls eyes at the crazy man, whose genes I inherited*
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home