Am going to spend the night relaxing.  Fun.  Fun.  unfortunately, I will be taking another GRE practice test manana.  (This is bad because I seem to be getting stupider with each test.

Have a French quiz manana...may have to study for that.

Ohhhhhh, I think I'm going to have some Jones Soda.  Yum.

In other news, I finally finished C.S. Lewis's The Magician's Nephew.  At first I wasn't liking it too much.  I didn't feel like the writing was at Lewis's usual level..then Narnia and Aslan were introduced.  Loved it, loved it, loved it.  Go Jesus as a Lion. 

Dooby Dooby Doo.

Hmmm, nothing more to say. 

Peace.

Am feeling rather emotional.  My eyes hurt and I feel like I could cry at any moment.  I think part of it is stress, but most of it is my continuing lack of sleep.  I was stupid, and thought about all that I have to do this fall in relation to applying to graduate schools.  Silly me, must stop that.
 
Am taking long shower and going to bed early.
 
Good plan.

(Okay, my fonts are being insane.  Excuse the screwiness...it can't seem to be fixed right now)
 
There...all better.  Nice blogger...stay good.

Oh my gosh.  There is a cloud that looks exactly like a bird.  I mean it.  there is no mistaking its bird-like features.  Tail feathers and everything.

I WILL STUDY FRENCH!  I WILL STUDY FRENCH!

See, I'm still occasionally preparing for the Lit. GRE.
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
-bartering
-race
-religion
-superstition
-disobedience
-medicine
-antagonist is an outsider or different race
-stigma of coming from a broken home
-seek glory
-women's roles
-treatment of children (beat)
-childhood dreams
-ignorance

I WILL STUDY FRENCH.  I WILL STUDY FRENCH.

Change is in the air.  Or maybe it's need for change.  Or possibly, I just didn't sleep enough last night.  Not sure which.

Yesterday, I watched Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.  I think I may have to analyze that film.  I'm sure a student somewhere out there already has, but maybe my approach will be different.  I have decided I will be willing to marry Mr. Wonka even though his wonderful sense of humor would slowly chip away at what little self-esteem I have.  But, I'd probably insult him every 5 minutes.  So, everything would even out and we'd be a typical American couple.

I did get a tad bit ornery last night when Leslie and her friend wouldn't stop talking until 3 in the morning about things I couldn't relate to (being 1/2 of a couple, buying a house, marriage, sex-you know, things I have 0 experience with).  We were at Leslie's, 3 corners of a triangle on two large couches.  Mine was the silent corner/the corner of prayer.  Hoping that the conversation would end so someone could drive me home.

In theory, I should have been happy with the experience as it goes well with my Stress Less plan.  But, the 2 and 1/2 hours of talking was well outside my arranged GRE/French break time.  See, Leslie was supposed to pick me up at 7, we'd eat dinner wall watching Willie dance around his factory, then I'd be sent right back home around 10 PM to, you know, study for my rather large French test that is on Monday and for which I am in no way prepared. 
Leslie didn't pick me up until around 8.  I should have known things would go down hill from there.

So, now I'm operating on a severe lack of sleep.  I did enough studying so that my stress has ebbed for at least an hour or two.  I'd planned to study more...but I went all contemplative on myself.  Here are some thoughts from while I was trying to study at B&N:  "Maybe it's the lack of sleep, but I have this strange urge to do something spontaneous.  Big spontaneous...like leave the country, drop out of school, run away from everything that is bothering me.  I feel like I want to change the path I've set out for my life.  I have to wonder, what brought this on?  I can't help but think that it is fear.  Fear of failing at my dreams.  Fear of everyone knowing I'd failed.  Fear of always waiting for that moment when my life is going to start but never reaching it or realizing life passed me by.  Is fear a bad reason to want to take the road less traveled?  Is there any other reason."

I went a little crazy.  So, I went and spent 30 dollars at the used book store (Sorry Monica, nothing for you, but feel free to look at the books).  I bought a copy of a volume of some of the letters of George Orwell.  I love the way that man writes.

A few days ago, I had a few more interesting thoughts that surprised me.  I was watching a couple.  College age.  Shaggy hippies who probably like to indulge in drugs.  They weren't high when I was watching them.  Nope, they were being cute.  Standing way close together looking into each other's eyes and talking.  That made me think.  As a person who hates feeling vulnerable, and doesn't like people to stand too close for fear of what they might see, I realized that, at some point, I do want to be seen.  Eventually, I want a relationship. 

I know most of you are going "duh."  Who doesn't want one?  But you need to realize that I could really live as a hermit and be happy doing so.  This was a big revelation for me.  So, I guess now I'm going to have to work on being less closed off.  *Rolls eyes* what fun that will be.

Yep, there's been some emotional developing going on in East Lansing.

Well, I'm off to possibly study.  Or maybe I'll just fall in love with good ol'George's writing style again.

Oh here's a random quote from my future roommate, Rose:  "mmm porny."

Thought I'd share that with you all.

Soooooo, yesterday night was a lot of fun.  Leslie and I did our normal hangout thing.  Then we mixed things up...went to the used book store.  Funness.  I was very unlike myself and didn't buy anything.
Then Britt called.  We spoke for an half hour or so.  That made my moment.  I miss seeing her everyday.
I'm even starting to feel excited for the fall...even though I STILL think the summer has gone by WAY too fast.

Today was alright.  A little bit of freaking out though...mainly due to combined French and GRE stress.  I need to to prepare for both...but also want to enjoy the weekend.

On the plus, I have Willie Wonka plans for tomorrow...so all is certain to be well.

Yeah!  There was a storm.  I hope it cools off.

Let's see...today was better than yesterday. 

I took a practice GRE today...my English score was greatly improved since I took a diagnostic test in December.  My math score was only slightly better.  At least some of my hard work is paying off.  Wicked math.
So I went crazy and bought some more GRE prep stuff with my dad's credit card.  It's fun spending someone else's money...even if it is for boring books.

Ran into Gary, a church guy, at Barnes and Noble.

Apparently a journalist from Detroit will be coming into my French class tomorrow to ask about the advantages of an 8 AM class.  I won't be quoted.

Fa la la la la, la la la la

Take note on your calendars...We must all remember this momentous occasion:  I took a shower that was shorter than somebody else's shower. 
That never happens.

Kind of bad day.  Prefer not to think about it.
 
Somebody tell me something amazingly-awesome that happened to them so I can be happy for them.

La la la.
 
I managed to stress myself out this afternoon.  I must stop doing that.
 
The world is rather calm.  I sit outside.  I read.  I do work.  I'm reading Evanovich's Full House.  No where near the lever of the Plum series.  But it's still a fast read.  You can see how her later writings grew from it.
 
Well, I'm off to slack and avoid work.
 
24 days until my brain is planned to be deflated.

Yesterday was fun.
 
I had a good lunch with my parents and the clouds went away long enough for us to go and feed the ducks.
 
And after church I went out with Brian, Jeff, Alan and Yi.  We went to The Parlor and shared a huge ten scoop bowl of ice cream.  Yummy.  I was proud.  I was the last one still eating it and didn't feel sick at all.  That's what happens when your smart and don't eat dinner.  Just go for the ice cream.

Plus, as ordered by numerous people, I did not do any work yesterday.
 
I did finally finish the Hitchhiker's Guide series. 

And this morning, I finally watched Seabiscuit.  I love my Tobey!  I love my Tobey!

"I'll be back. I will be back. I'm used to all kinds of hard work, as you know, and I'm not afraid. I'm not afraid whatsoever."
 
~Martha Stewart, after her sentencing.

Had a deeeeeeeelightful time going to lunch and the children's garden with my buddie Yi.  I proposed to 2 chipmunks.   Very pretty (The gardens, I'd define the chipmunks as being cute). For a moment I contemplated becoming a horticulture major, so I could make the world pretty.  But then I remembered that would involve science of some sort.  So, maybe when I'm old I'll just have a little garden somewhere.
 
Ohhhh, it's storming.  I love a good storm.  Bring it on nature!
 
Shel:    "If I think about the GRE, I'll freak out."
Yi:        "Don't think about the GRE.  Think about me."
 
Yi is such a little cutie.   I was super-duper impressed that she remembered my birthday.  We're going to hang out tomorrow after church.  IHOP baby!

Ahhhhhhhhh!  Changes!  (On the plus side, it's more like what I grew up with)
 
Bored.
 
Did you know there's a doo.com?  But no lalala.com.  That's cheap.

La la la. Am bored. I don't want to do work.

The test was okay. I know I got at least 2 or 3 wrong though. Meh.

Wah! Avoidance.

Am avoiding the study thing.

La la la

The boys of French are going to drive me insane. They tease me mercilously. I turn red. I hate turning red. All this torture cuased by my need to brighten their days with smiley faces. Well excuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuse me.
Then worst of worst, I was walking with one of them to the library. We were talking about turning the big 2-0. He mentioned the whole "many people have kids during their 20s" factoid. I said I didn't know about the whole having kids adventure. So, he went into the whole "people like you have 'accidents"." Thing. Naturally, I said it wasn't going to happen...I didn't actually include the "what with waiting for marriage" part. But, I'm certain he thought I was crazy for my certainty at not getting pregnant. If he was a girl, I would have totally said "well, I'm waiting for marriage."
The above is an elaborate and slightly pointless demonstration of the fact that I work best as a friend of girls. I don't know what I can and cannot tell boys. Wah!

All of the above is me avoiding studying for my test. On the plus side...no GRE prep. Self-imposed rule..."No GRE stuff when studying for a major French test." Now if only I'd study for the major French test.

Have decided I'm going to take my parents to feed the duckies for my birthday. Did I already mention that? Sigh. Lack of memory.

Am bored. Have slight headache. Do not want to study French. Should do some sort of fun reading. But fear will fall asleep. Could coffee at a cafe be answer? Stay tuned.

I appreciate how Cho totally avoided telling a lie.

Hmmmm, woke up in a bad mood. I think it's mainly because one of my first thoughts upon surfacing from a nice oblivious sleep, was that I take the GRE exactly one month from now. Very very bad. It seemed that yesterday I was able to deny the fact that the GRE was a month and a day away.

Bad morning continued with the realization that the French test that I thought was being given on Friday, will actually be on Thursday. This means that I seriously need to start studying as I know no vocab and get confused every time I try to do the grammar stuff.

Bad mood was alleviated when I went and sat by the river. I fed the ducks. I was surrounded on all sides. They were so close that one or two would touch my knee with their beak...another flew up onto the bench and begged beside me. When I ran out of bread, I immediately stood and walked away. I feared they might get closer before they realized my lack of bread and abandoned me. I think I'm going to try to see them at least twice more this week. And I might make my parents bring bread on Saturday so we can go as a celebratory "My first act as a 20 year old is to feed the ducks" adventure. (I'm quite the wild one)

I also got to thinking. (Very dangerous)
I know God is preparing Heaven for us...but I think He'll totally allow people to build some edifices to honor him. Because I look at my beloved fountain and I see the good man is capable of...I think God would allow those who build/make things as a form of Worship to continue to do so in Heaven. Just my take.

Awww. Felt the need to share the Satchel cuteness.

Have come to the conclusion that I love Thierry Lhermitte. It's his eyes. And his facial coloring and hair that accentuates his eyes. And the roles he plays. What can I say, I love a good jerk. He has my heart along with Toby M., and Michael R., among others. Am I a love-actors-slut?

If I was a super hero, I'd call myself Slacker Girl. And I'd do pretty much nothing.

Am stuck in a very bad rut. This rut involves not doing GRE prep...while this rut is fun for the time being, I'll feel like an idiot once my SUPER-BAD GRE scores are reported. Sigh. I'm going to have to get up off my butt.

Sooooo, the surrounding boys in French have begun picking on me for my tendency to drink my precious coffee so slowly each morning. Well, excusssssssssssssssse me! But I'm sure when God rained down wonderful manna from heaven, the Israelites took their sweet time and ate it throughout the day. I stick my tongue out at the boys of French. I doubt they'd get the OT reference. They'd probably blink at me a lot in a confounded way. No NOT BLINKING!

P.S. I hate math!

Have had coffee! Weeeeeee!

My new French class is going okay. I'm surprised by how many new people there are. I now sit among 3 very social boys. This made me uncomfortable (one of my many neuroses) So, I've decided to pretend they're all girls. I started operation girl by drawing smiley faces on all of their papers.

I'm way behind on my GRE prep. Could that explain my good mood?

Toby Toby Toby!!!!!!!!!

Blogger is being crazy.

Toby has my heart!


He's a veggie lover! After our kind take over the world. We can live together as the king and queen of the veggie people! It'll be fun. See, I have plans for the future. I should write this for my grad school applications. Then only clown college will take me.

I'd be a wonderful clown. And I bet Toby would love my red orb of a nose.

Sigh. Back to the world of French tomorrow.

Don't wanna do GRE prep!

Am starved. I walked all the way to the union to get dinner. Mentally, I was going through this speech about how the Union was reliable...always open when you need it...with my precious Beaners coffee. I arrived to find the union doors locked. On the plus side, I had a nice walk and was no longer just hungry, but became both hungry and thirsty.

Done!

Didn't study. Got some wrong...but still should be good. All part of the stress less plan.