Special Delivery

I just got a care package from my parents.

It's moments like this that cause me to realize that although my parents love me, I am a complete mystery to them.

This seems to be most true in regards to fashion:

Parents sent me three dresses that I've never seen before in my life. In the case of the first one, if I ever suffer brain damage and suddenly start liking pokka dots I might actually wear it. The other two seem to match, what with both of the being brown and having sparkles. Brown! Sparkles! Ack! Plus judging by the sizes of hideous dresses, my parents think I'm 20 to 40 pounds heavier than I actually weigh. Thanks guys.

Have already hidden the dresses away in a back corner of my closet, God willing, never to be seen again.

Worst of worst, no money was included in the care package. I will look on the bright side: I don't have to give up my Poor Princess Crown composed of last week's newspaper and discarded plastic forks.

Now I must call them and sound excited as it was expensive for them to ship me pure ugliness.