Yes, Yes, I Know I Said I Was Taking a Break, But Sometimes I Just Gotta Speak Up

So, do you ever feel like you've accomplished a lot in one day, like you've done so much work in one sitting that you deserve a nice pat on the back, then, as your arm moves to deliver said pat on the back, you knock over the large pile of books that you have yet to read/do work in and you descend into utter depression? Welcome to my world.

So, I've decided to ignore said pile of books and instead I will delivere some quotes from Salman Rushdie's talk that I went to, ummm, two days ago, I think.

To begin the talk, Rushdie referenced the threats on his life saying "One of us is dead."

"Don't mess with novelists."

"It's strange to listen to a writer speak."

"Tell journalists that your work is completely autobiographical...it's the right answer and the only way to get them off the topic."

"I'm fighting the urge to tell a Michael Jackson joke."

Cath, don't read the next one.

"An example of a story driven novel is the worst novel of the last 50 years...The Da Vinci Code."

"People lie and pretend they're ordinary, but go behind the door of family...it's Hell in there...They f*** you up, your mom and dad."

Jeffiner, don't read the next one.

"Reality is no longer realistic. Have you noticed how weird things are lately? There are strange growths. What should we call them? Bushes."

"Writers tell you that they're not telling the truth. On the front are the words "a novel." This is not on the constitution."

"Excrement hits the ventilation system."

Cath, again, don't read the next quote.

"Should you have the right to kill the author if you don't like their book? The answer is easy. For me, it is no. But in the case of the author of The Da Vinci Code...."

"Hang in there long enough, and a certain absurdity comes to the rescue."

"Defense of freedom of speech begins when someone says something you detest."

"I've always resisted the job of prophet. I've had some trouble with prophets."

"I like Balzac...I like all kinds of $hit."

"It is not the function of a novel to be a happy, rallying cry for a nation."

"Book prizes are disgusting until you win one. Then they are validating...I'm in favor of all the prizes I win."

Quotes about the movie about him:

"The plot of the movie was that they must kill me and that would be the happy ending...I can think of better plots."

"I would live in a palace in the Phillipians...cause all novelists have palaces."

"My character had protection that resembled the Israelite secret service...all novelists also have this."

"The me-character gets killed by a deity. Personally killed by God."

Lastly, a quote from the Dean of the James Madison College:

"When we find books we can't read, we assign them."

Off to pick a book off the evil pile of no fun.