mY LifE iN iRoNY

"How can you expect the birds to sing when their groves are cut down?" ~Thoreau

Thursday, September 29, 2005

Thwarted Again

The universe is conspiring against me.

At midnight a construction crew began work on the road in front of my apartment. Despite closing all my windows could still hear the drilling.

Finally fell asleep around 1 AM.

Woke up at 5 AM to the sound of rain showers. Was glad closed all my windows at midnight.

Have to get up super early for opening shift tomorrow, so I'll try to go to bed super early tonight.

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Ugly Update

Spoke with Mom.

Apparently the ugly dresses were part of an auction. No one was bidding on them (Big Surprise!) so Mom did. (That's good logic...clearly this woman is where I get all of all my shopaholic tendencies from) But she bought them with the intention of having me turn them into skirts. (If I had any idea how to make skirts or owned any handy-dandy sewing utensils this could happen...in an alternate reality)

In other news, I haven't gotten caught up on sleep as much as I would have liked. When I don't get sleep, I get headaches. So more or less am dealing with a dull constant pain that is not very inspiring for wanting to write or do any work. Yet I have all these ideas. Have ideas, but can't write. Clearly I'm under a curse of some sort.

I have to read the suckiest adolescent novel ever written. Am on page 15 and already hate it. My future isn't looking very bright because the book is almost 300 pages long. Curse my masochistic work ethic.

Wow, I'm whiney today. I blame the headache.

Am going to go eat delightful butterfinger caramel apple my parents sent me. That should make the world seem like a better place.

Special Delivery

I just got a care package from my parents.

It's moments like this that cause me to realize that although my parents love me, I am a complete mystery to them.

This seems to be most true in regards to fashion:

Parents sent me three dresses that I've never seen before in my life. In the case of the first one, if I ever suffer brain damage and suddenly start liking pokka dots I might actually wear it. The other two seem to match, what with both of the being brown and having sparkles. Brown! Sparkles! Ack! Plus judging by the sizes of hideous dresses, my parents think I'm 20 to 40 pounds heavier than I actually weigh. Thanks guys.

Have already hidden the dresses away in a back corner of my closet, God willing, never to be seen again.

Worst of worst, no money was included in the care package. I will look on the bright side: I don't have to give up my Poor Princess Crown composed of last week's newspaper and discarded plastic forks.

Now I must call them and sound excited as it was expensive for them to ship me pure ugliness.

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Let Them Eat Cake

Colin offering me a beer at a party we went to together:

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Did not get a perfect score on my first grad school paper, so I momentarily don't like the world. Shall recover by watching TV.

I had my first day of work. It made my brain deflate and my butt ache. I spent my first four hours in the working world filling out papers and reading. The first handbook was alright. I even managed to laugh at some of the instructions. Like "try not to fall off ladders." Okay, I paraphrased a little.
The second handbook proved to be very redundant and filled with details that I'll only be able to remember with: a) a lot of repetition or b) real world experience.
For example, the temperature for steaming milk for adults should be between 150 and 170 degrees. But for kiddies stay closer to 120 degrees. And the espresso should take 18 to 23 seconds to pour out and you should mix it with the rest of the drink within the 10 seconds after that. Okay, so I remembered those factoids, but they were only two of the gazillion and seven things I should know to do.

I go in again on Thursday. I feel like it'll be day one, part II because I still don't have a locker and have no idea what I'm doing.

The B&N employees seem like a good/entertaining group. I got to witness a lot of interactions since I sat, reading in the break room for most of the day. Plus, I witnessed the door code being changed, so I knew the code before most of the employees. That made me feel included. Plus, it meant I got many mini-breaks whenever people tried to get into the room with the old code. I was very cool with this, cause it meant I got to stop reading and leave the chair that was slowly attaching itself to my butt.

Am exhausted. I think it has something to do with the fact that I "worked" for the first time today and only got five hours of sleep last night and six hours of sleep the night before that. But drank coffee, so feel somewhat coherent.

Sigh. So many story ideas, not enough time to write them all.

On that note, I have decided to completely rewrite/change my first long work. I foresee pain in my future.

mmmmm, sleep in tomorrow.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Celebrity

While in London I met and chilled with many celebrities. Here are just a few of my favorite pics.

Pierce Brosnan being very protective of me:

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Hugh Grant and I on one of our many dates:

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And Buffy and I kicking bad guy butt:

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Also, whoever cares, I can send other pictures to people individually. Holly, I have both Mel and Anthony. Jeffiner, I have Colin Farrell.

Back in the present, things are going well. I went to church yesterday. The service wasn't what I'm used to, but their mission statement seems pretty solid and it's close. Plus the service starts at 11, so I can still sleep in. It'll do for now.

I watched Down with Love. Just when I don't think there's no room in my heart for me to possibly love Ewie any more than I already do, the man finds a way. Oh Ewie....

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Special Announcement

The End of the World is Near!

I have a job.

I got my ideal job! Even though my new boss couldn't get a hold of all my references-he decided to take a chance and give me the job anyway.

Makes me happy.

Thank you, Jesus!!!!!!!

So, where will I be working?

I will be surrounded by two of my favorite things: Books and coffee.

That's right. I got a job in a Barnes and Noble cafe.

Joy.

I start Tuesday.

Must enjoy last few days of unemployed freedom. Off to spend money I don't have.

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Be Our Guest

You Are Belle!
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Intelligent and kind. Your beauty goes much further than your apperance. Also, you make judgements of people based on their personality and not their looks. Attaining all the knowledge that you can is one of your major goals in life, but you are also a person who can make things happen.

Which Disney Princess Are You?

Take A Bath

Britt, Megan and I took a day trip to Bath. We spent the day focusing on all things Austen.

We went to the costume museum where they had a special exhibit on costumes used in the movies:

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Britt and I tried on coursettes.

The costumes woren by Emma Thompson and Kate Winslet in Sense and Sensibility:

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The costume worn by Willoughby in Sense and Sensibility:

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And best of all, the costume worn by precious Alan Rickman in Sense and Sensibility:

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mmmmm, Feet away from Alan Rickman skin cells. joy.
For those of you who don't know, Colonel Brandon has my heart.






























































Here are two of the costumes from Pride and Prejudice:

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The delightfulness of Colin Firth skin cells.



























And costumes from Emma:

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Here is Britt, Megan and I did a bit of our own dressing up:

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After that we went out to lunch at a nice Italian restaurant and then marched in the rain over to the Austen Museum. Where I managed to get snapshots of these Sense and Sensibility gems:

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As you man be able to tell, Alan was kind of a theme of the day...err, trip actually.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

Rant from a Certain Point of View

I'm being driven bonkers.

I keep reading all of these texts, listening to all of these professors say that in children's literature, a writer MUST tell the story from the protagonist's point of view. No jumping to someone else's perspective unless they are given a separate chapter...and even this is only allowed in adolescent novels. THERE ARE NO EXCEPTIONS.

I'll admit, I have a personal stake in this. The story I've been working on for two years does jump point of view between characters and is intended for a middle grade audience. Big no-no according to the powers that be.

But I think the little kiddies of the world can handle the jumps. I think they can still identify with one or both of the characters despite "the jerk of a jump in perspective."

I remember reading books that went outside of the main protagonist's point of view and having no problem.

In fact, I think some of the best books go beyond the protagonist's ability to perceive. Don't the Chronicles of Narnia follow several children? How about The Dark is Rising series? The Redwall books would leave the protagonist to show what was happening with the villain. The first and second chapters of the last Harry Potter book completely left Harry.

I rant because I'm now internally debating to what extent I have to change my own work. I mean, is there still a chance I can get published without conforming to this "law"?

I think I just might have to schedule an individual talky-talk with one of my professors.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Amend That

Okay, so I apologize to all carpet people world round. The guys sent to my apartment rocked! Not only did they put the new carpet in, but they put everything back in its original position and rehooked up all the equipment they separated.

They also accepted a package for me and replaced a low role of toilet paper.

They have restored my faith in men. There is hope for the future.

Sigh. There are little carpet sheddings all over my floor. Will take me at least 3-4 swings at vacuuming to get all the little buggers (so, they'll be here for at least several months). I have no problem with this except for the fact that (to my imaginative mind) each individual string shedding looks vaguely like a little maggot. My maggoty carpet that smells nice and new. I guess no guests for awhile...unless...I want to scare people. Looks like I have solid plans for Halloween.

In other news, I had my first reading of a draft of a story last night. I wrote something new. The process went rather well. I'm sure I sounded nervous when I read aloud...but that's just me being twitchy me. There didn't seem to be any major problems with the piece though. It's nice to be told to work on a few small things here or there as opposed to being told to do a complete rewrite, changing everything. Mmmm, more good self-esteem vibes.

I'm sure Ad Fic prof of last year would have hated it. Very glad he's of the past. I stick my tongue out at his memory.

Monday, September 19, 2005

If You'd Done Your Job....

Am kicked out of own apartment.

Furniture is in ruin.

Expensive TV system dismantled and sitting out in hall. Hope nobody steals it.

Books piled on kitchen floor.

Will probably take me hours to put everything right.

Why, oh why didn't the apartment people replace the carpet before I moved in?

On the plus side, getting new (hopefully smell-free) carpet.

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Survey Says...Procrastinate

I've consumed alcohol
I've run away from home
I have lied to my parents about where I am
Not liked Bush because he is dumb
Not liked Bush with my own reasons to back it up
Liked Bush
I listen to political music.
I collect comic books
I am shorter than 5'5
I think I'm ugly
I shut others out when I'm depressed
I open up to others easily
I am keeping a secret from the world
I watch the news (I prefer newspapers though)
I own over 5 rap CDs
I own an iPod or MP3 player
I own multiple designer purses, costing over $100 a piece
I own something from Hot Topic
I own something from Pac Sun
I own something from The Gap
I own something I got on e-bay
I love Disney Movies
I am a sucker for hair/eyes
I don't kill bugs
I curse
I paid for that cell phone ring
I am a sports fanatic
I have "x"s in my screen name
I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation
I love Spam
I bake well
I would wear pajamas to school
I own something from Abercrombie
I have a job (Soon, my pritties, soon)
I love Martha Stewart
I am in love with love
I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS (sEe SIdeBAr)
I'm self conscious.
I like to laugh
I smoke a pack a day
I liked Perks of Being a Wallflower
I liked Go Ask Alice
I have cough drops when I'm not sick
I can't swallow pills
I can swallow about 5 pills at a time no problem
I eat fast food weekly
I have many scars
I believe in ghosts
I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room
I am really ticklish
I see a therapist
I take anti-depressants
I love white chocolate
I bite my nails
I am comfortable with being me
I play video games
I'm single
I'm in a relationship
I'm married
Gotten lost in my city
Saw a shooting star
Wished on a shooting star
Saw a meteor shower
I had a serious surgery
Gone out in public in your pajamas
I have kissed a stranger
Hugged a stranger
Been in a fist fight
Been arrested
Laughed and had milk or another drink come out of your nose
Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
Made out in an elevator
Kicked a guy where it hurts.
Been close to love
Been to a casino
Been skydiving
Broken a bone
Skipped school
Saw a therapist
Played spin the bottle
Gotten stitches
Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
Bitten someone
Been to Niagara Falls
Gotten the chicken pox
Kissed a member of the same sex
Crashed into a friend's car
Been to Japan
Ridden in a taxi
Shoplifted.
Been fired
Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex.
Had feelings for someone who didn't have them back
Stole something from your job
Gone on a blind date
Had a crush on a teacher
Celebrated Mardi Gras in New Orleans
Been to Europe
Slept with a co-worker
Been married
Gotten divorced
Had children
Been to Africa
Driven over 400 miles in one day
Been to Canada
Been to Mexico
Been on a plane
Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
Thrown up in a bar
Eaten sushi
Been snowboarding
Been skiing
Met someone in person on the internet
Lost a child.
Gone to college
Graduated college

Done hard drugs
Had someone cheat on you
Miss someone right now
Taken pain killers when you didn't need them
Smoked weed
Snorted cocaine
Ate shrooms
Inhailed Nitrous
Been in love
Cheated in a relationship
Woke up crying
Peed from laughing
Watched the girl/guy you like make out with someone else
Accidentally made yourself vomit
Kept a journal for more than a year
Read more than five books in one week
Have a website
Hate baths
Dance when no one else is around
Create imaginary friends
Refer to actors by the name of a favorite character they portrayed
Love bruises
Have sat on the roof
Stayed out past curfew
Ignored people cause they weren't popular
Love rain

Friday, September 16, 2005

Crack of Thunder

mmmmmmm, thunderstorm. All my window shades keep rattling. I'm off to read by lamp light.

Welcome to My Life

Have ideal job interview in three hours and have huge zit in the middle of my forehead.

Mother trucker.

The Adventures Continue

Following my pictures backwards, here's the second to last picture worthy thing I did in London:

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The Reptile House of the London Zoo. Whatever could I find there?

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That's right, the quest for Harry Potter places continued. We were SO cool.

Britt, moi amd Holly, in front of the cage used for filming. Interestingly, I think Black Mombas were actually on display in the cage.

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Thursday, September 15, 2005

The Lord Provides

OH-MY-GOSH! JUST-GOT-A-CALL! THE-IDEAL-WORKING-PLACE-THAT SAID-IT-WASN'T-HIRING-IS-LOOKING-FOR-EMPLOYEES! HAVE-JOB-INTERVIEW-TO-MOR-ROW! THANK-YOU-GOD!

WE-WANTS-THIS-JOB! WE-WANTS-IT!

PLEASE-PLEASE-PLEASE-GOD! HELP-HELP-HELP! LORD-PLEASE! WE-WANTS-THIS-JOB!

If everyone could send a little prayer up to God at 3 PM tomorrow, that'd be much appreciated.

Monday, September 12, 2005

That Stuff Your Supposed to Fill Your Head With

Today, my professor told the class that we must become good liars.

9 and 3/4

Now that the power of the internet is restored to Mr. Compy, I have no excuse to not photo blog. I've decided to begin at the end with one of the last touristy things I did in London:

Hmmm, what is this building? Why would I ever want to go there?
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Could it be the fancy architecture?
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No, somehow, I don't think so. I think I had another motivation...

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Yes, ofcourse, now I remember. My friends and I had been accepted into the continuing education classes at Hogwarts. How could I forget.

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(Holly, I have another one of you...do you want me to do the e-mail thing?)

That concludes posty one of "What I did when I disappeared for two months." Stay tuned for more updaty-dates.

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Sah-lacker

I want to marry chocolate peanut butter ice cream.

Saturday, September 10, 2005

Felt a need to change the blog. Will make it better later.

Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely

Internet in my apartment.

The power.

Am already downloading music.

P.S. I am a bad daughter who spends too much money.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Everybody Wants Noodles

Only at a fancy-pants school like Chatham can you get noodles in a wine-sauce for lunch in the caf on a week day.

Thursday, September 08, 2005

My Life in Irony

Not ten minutes after my last post, while walking home from this very library, I saw Potential Rapist making a delivery to a neighboring apartment building.

I said hi.

Ohhh, then on the walk over here I made a new friend: A nice young bunny-bun. He/she was nice enough to pose for a picture and let me get reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeal close.

Why am I blogging? I have six books to read. *slowly shakes head*

Take a Walk on the Shadyside

My goodness, where did all this homework come from?

I have begun job hunting, a tiring process. So far I have applied to four places and scored one interview for Saturday. Of course, the place where I'll be interviewing happens to be the place where I'd like to work the least. Pah.

At two of the places I applied, I could literally see the employees silently questioning if they'd want to work with me. Both people seemed to quietly decide they'd be willing, which is cool. Unfortunately, neither of these girls were managers, thus having no actual say in the matter. Pah again.

Tomorrow I plan to apply at a couple more places at the other side of campus.

*Please someone-hire-me-despite-my-complete-lack-of-experience!!!!!! Pretty please!!!!*

We shall see about this job business.

In other news, I have constructed a couch. I only made one huge mistake and managed to fix it without any damage. Am rather proud of couchy. Have actually sat on him and there were no screeches of metal bending, sudden collapses or moments of terror. Perhaps have future in construction? Somehow doubt it.
Potential Rapist and friend delivered couch pieces. It's strange, since this was the third time I have had to see him, Potential Rapist and I have entered into a little continuing dialogue. I noticed he cut his hair. He said the apartment was looking better and coming along nicely. I promised him that there was no more furniture to be delivered and he won't have to face my three flights of stairs again.
Bye-bye, Potential Rapist.

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Security Warning

On Sept. 6th at 06:40 p.m., the Chatham College Police received a report from two complainants, who stated that they were approached in the east lot by an unknown male actor who drove up to them in a silver Honda. The unknown male actor was nude and said he was filming for MTV, and asked them if they were interested in being filmed. The actor is described as a white male, muscular build, and shaved head. If this actor attempts to engage in a conversation with you or you see this actor on the campus, please contact the campus police at ext. 1111.

Please note that we sent out an advisory in May on a male fitting this description also driving a Honda, and saying he was from MTV. Also we have received reports that this same actor may also be using this ploy in Schenley Park.


This was sent to the entire college. How can you not find that funny?

Buzz Buzz, Went the Phone

Yesterday went well. Two delivery guys expected. They not only completed their jobs, but they came on time. So I had a full two hours where I didn't know what to do with myself. No reason to stay in the apartment. I could have done anything. Gone anywhere. So I stayed in my apartment. But at least I had the choice to leave as opposed to waiting for strange men.

On the up and up, I have TV reception now. The only addition to my apartment I'm still waiting for is my internet access.

Just got an e-mail about said internet access...the activation date has been pushed back a week. Of course.

Any-hoo, my class met in the public library last night. Tres cool and modern. Plus I got to walk to parts of the town I haven't explored yet (who am I kidding, that's most of the town). But I do foresee a considerable amount of time spent at Mr. library.

On the walk home, I got a call from my dad. He seemed excited. That made me nervous. He kept insisting that my mom pick up on the other line. More nervousness. Finally, my mom got my dad to comprehend that he'd called me on his new cell phone (the same model as mine, so he can ask me questions when he runs into trouble operating it) and there was no possible way for her to pick up a phone and be a part of our conversation. Silly father.

My parents got some mail for me from Vermont College. I've been accepted into their graduate program! ... A little late, don't you think.
I found myself asking my dad if this was a joke even though my parents aren't the kind of people to play cruel jokes. The word "Seriously?!" kept coming out of my mouth.

Frankly, I'd assumed Vermont had rejected me. The "interview" I went to wasn't nearly as enjoyable as Chatham's and lasted for no more than 20 minutes. Instead of preparing me for acceptance the woman I spoke with used the term "If you're rejected..." and generally made the program seem to prestigious for the unemployed-not-working-at-Disney likes of me.
While I was abroad my parents never mentioned Vermont, so I assumed I'd been rejected and they were choosing not to tell me so I wouldn't have to be sad while abroad. Then I got home and there was a lack of mail from Vermont. I assumed they'd rejected me, but hadn't gotten around to telling me. The punks.

If the acceptance had come several weeks earlier, I might have had a tough decision, but considering I've already started classes and I'm finally close to living comfortably in a new city, I don't think I'll be moving out any time soon.

It still feels good to be accepted on the basis of the "quality of [my] manuscript and the insights expressed in [my] essay." Plus now I get to think things like "both schools that specialized in the subjects I wanted to study accepted me." Gives a girl/writer a little of her self-esteem back. Yeah to having self-esteem!

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Late Arrival

Delivery time estimated: 2-5PM

Time delivery men arrived: 5:15PM (potential rapist among them)

During process potential rapist complained multiple times and said he wished the "college boys" down at Icky-a would try doing the moving.

Upon finishing Potential Rapist said tonight he would go home and "drink a whole case of beer and a fifth of whiskey." I don't know much about alcohol, but I know that's alot. Feel reassured in thinking he's an alcoholic. What a character.

It is actually nice out! Must leave artificial light of computer lab and greet the sun!

*zooms away*